My name is “….”

“What is your name?” The most dreaded question that increases my bowel movements every single time.. There’s a huge battle between me and my name since childhood.. Thanks to my dad for portraying his sense of humour through my name..

So let’s start..My name is Bibiana, a Latin name which means life.. There is a Christian saint with this name.. Some people find my name funny, some find it bizarre and less than 1% of the people have said it’s nice (must be people trained to say nice-name as a reflex)..

I’m very sure that I was the person with the greatest number of nick names in my class.. Everything that ends with ana or yanai becomes my nickname.. And their English translations too.. Imagine how my school days would have been😢

Yanai(elephant) is a character frequently used by Tamil poets and all of the story writers.. Indeed, there’s this word in every page of our Tamil text book.. My bowel starts moving when the teacher starts with the first line and it increases in intensity until this word is reached.. The whole class, sometimes including the teacher, bursts in laughter..

In my high school, no one was spared from nicknames.. Some beautiful names like Bigshow, kothumbu, chori, nippo gold, just to name a few.. But none was hurt or bullied.. We had a lot of fun.. In fact these sort of things helped us in getting desensitized and to grow stronger..

You know what, I came to know about my name as Bibiana only when I enrolled in LKG.. My mom and other close relatives who found difficulty in pronouncing my name, used to call me with another name, Sherina… Still I’m known by this name among my relatives and neighbours.. When I got enrolled in Pre-KG, this group of people gave a shorter and better version of my name, Bibia (my granny played a major role in this).. Somehow Bibiana came out of box in LKG..

Since then I’ve been having this why-this-name-dad? fight with my dad every single day.. He used to convince me with words like “moley, it’s a lucky name, you will see”, “It’s an international name, I’ve seen”, “there are ships with this name”.. But he never said there’s a saint with this name..

My name is pronounced in every way possible.. My physics miss used to call me Bibaina and my chemistry tuition sir used to call me Bibina(a better version of course).. This version is still in practice by my higher official.. My school bus aunty used the name Divyana, for which I used to respond.. Once I went for an inter-school competition where I was called out as Bibinaya (as the previous girl’s name was Abinaya).. Most of my friends call me Bibi (good and easy)..

There’s an epic incident which I should mention of.. I got my Confirmation (a holy sacrament in Christianity) when I was in 8th std.. Some 200 people took part and we had prayer classes for about a week.. Our names were written in a particular order.. On the day of confirmation, Reverent father started calling out our names from the altar.. Fearing about how he would pronounce my name, I started palpitating and sweating… When it was my name’s turn, he paused for a moment and read out loud, “Philomena”, a whole new name.. Thank God, nobody recognised it as my name.. Father, God bless you abundantly🙏

Despite all these factors, my father came up with yet another funny name, Silvester Stalon, when my little brother was born.. Yeah, named after the same Sylvester Stallone whom you think of.. Paavam paiyan enna paadu patrupano!!!

When I was in search of names for my son, I looked for names for which nicknames are not even remotely possible.. I got exhausted and realised that there is no such name..

I’m happy about the fact that our grandparents’ names are back to use now.. Those are stylish beautiful Christian names with an amma or appa or pillai added.. Claramma, Seraphinamma, Alice’amma, Antony pillai, Bastian pillai and more… When I was a kid I had the belief that they add this amma or appa only after they become grandparents.. Later my mom clarified that those are their names since birth.. How strange!!

Obligatory moral: Be happy with the name you possess.. If possible, add more beauty to your name by your good deeds👍

Journey of my blog

Hello dear readers..

This is my 28th post.. I would like to share my amazing journey from being a no-blogger to an occasional blogger..

Initially I had zero idea about blogging.. I felt awed when I found my school buddy’s page merry motherhood on Facebook.. Her works were my initial source of inspiration.. Thank you div..

As I started emerging as a frequent lamenter, my annoyed husband introduced me to the world of blogging.. Certainly, it helps as a powerful stress buster.. I found wordpress as a free and easy media for bloggers.. At first I had no idea what to write about.. I’m not a GK freak, I don’t read newspaper regularly and I’ve read only a few novels..

I started thinking about the things I’m good at.. A lot of mom-bloggers around. I’m not a full-time mom, having a kid with a little lazy milestones.. So absolutely I’m not in a position to give parenting tips.. And I’m tired of being a doctor anytime anywhere (family gatherings, church, walk from home to mom’s home, hospital etc).. So definitely no medical tips here..

“So what am I good at?? Yeah..I’m good at recalling my good old memories.. In addition, I’m really really good at writing pages and pages of stories with a single concept (the same is applicable to majority of the college students)..

This led to birth of my page, memories..I started an anonymous blog and imprinted my first story, a help in time, which is very short but my favourite one.. I published it on 14th August, 2018 when I had a single follower (my husband) in WordPress.. He read it and said it was really good.. Then I shared it with my close friends and family members through WhatsApp.. I received a lot of unexpected positive comments which encouraged me to keep moving forward.. Thank you guys… You gave birth to a blogger..

Then I gathered a lot of courage and displayed my name and photo.. I published my second post, “tank you”, which is about my hubby.. It is my friends’ favourite till now..

After a couple of posts, I created a page in Facebook, with my husband as co-admin and then linked my blog with Facebook, Twitter and Instagram… More courage huh? I invited people to like my page and tortured my husband to invite his friends too..

Then I started recreating my kindergarten days by posting pre-KG, LKG Part 1, part 2, UKG Part 1 and part 2.. These posts reached a lot of people and gained more applause.. Many people texted me personally saying they felt happy on reading my posts and encouraged me to keep going.. People of my age group said that they could relive their childhood days on reading my posts..

These positive comments helped me to improve myself and made me to publish more and more.. At some point, I realised that the key to success for a blogger/writer is publishing whatever he/she writes and making it reach as many people as possible.. This made me do some quirky things like sharing my posts on my husband’s Facebook page with or without his knowledge (mostly without).. It worked wonders!! You guys are free to share my posts on your pages too👍

As I was out of my good remote memories, I started recreating my recent memories including my latest favourite, New year celebration at PHC.. Then I took a break for about four months.. When my friends started asking about my blog and the pause, I wrote my language my pride, with energy refilled and shared with extended friends and family..

Then came my upgraded post, stop hating doctors, regarding violence against doctors.. This post helped me attain a great milestone as a blogger. The admin of thoothoor.com, who saw my post, appreciated me for being bold and asked to provide similar articles for posting in their website.. I got very excited as it is an 18 years old website being viewed by thousands of people daily.. But the lazy part of mine asked him to publish the same post in that website.. After publishing, I asked my husband to back me up if someone hits me or throws stones at me, as it is quite a controversial topic.. Thank God, no stones till now.. But this post created a great impact.. Words like “pen is mightier than sword” started lightning in my mind.. I started thinking of myself as a social writer and started analysing such topics.. “Hell no”, my inner mind stopped me .. I started memories to relive my good memories, not my worst ones..

I got the opportunity to publish the same article in the latest MIMA Magazine.. Thanks to the editor, who edited it well, used better English and better words and made my article presentable🙏

Long way to go girl 👧 😄😄

Stop hating Doctors

  • Violence against doctors on the rise.. We can see a lot of such cases… Doctors being attacked if someone critical is dead..
  • Everyone must be aware of the recent incident at West Bengal.. Four Doctors were brutally attacked by a mob of around 200 people as an 85 years old gentleman died of heart attack.. One of the doctors is in critical condition.. Many such incidents happened in the past..
  • According to me, the world, sorry India, is divided into two groups of people – Medicos and non-medicos.. It happens all the time.. Whenever something bad happens to doctors and if we agitate against it, the whole world turn against us.. Even people, who constantly seek medical advice and treatment from us free of cost, talk ill about doctors..
  • You may think that doctors are over-reacting.. Slogans like “stop violence against doctors” as everyone’s status, Doctors wearing black badge and other means of protest.. No, we are not over-reacting.. What we are doing is the least..
  • A clinic near my place was severely attacked as a critically ill patient died minutes after he was brought.. The doctor did his best resuscitation but could not revive the patient.. It was neither his fault that the patient died nor he is Jesus Christ to rise people from the dead..
  • Even I had several such experiences when I was working in GH.. It was loaded with accident, assault and drunken drive cases.. So constantly we were exposed to drunk people, with most of them shouting at us for no reason..
  • The scenario in my present PHC is different..Some Non-drunk, stable people have the habit of visiting PHC after OP hours and shouting at the staffs and workers if the doctor is not available on his seat… And they try to intimidate us capturing photos of the doctor’s chair.. Are we supposed to sit in that chair 24*7??? In PHC, treating Out Patients is only about 30% of our job.. We have to conduct deliveries, have field work, meetings, trainings etc.. And we are also humans, with a gastrointestinal tract.. We have to eat and attend to nature’s calls too.. I kindly request these photographers to be with their camera throughout the night to find doctors attending delivery cases even if they are not on duty..
  • Once we had a tea party at PHC for my son’s first birthday… It started after 12pm(after finishing the OP) and it took place for less than 10 minutes.. We have no room for relaxing or taking rest.. So we gathered in the USG room and had tea, snacks… But this thing was discussed in some Grama Sabha meeting (as a complaint) as doctors having tea while patients are waiting.
  • You guys, who spread such news for fame or whatever, are doing no good to the people.. You, in fact are destroying the belief of poor people who cannot afford to private hospitals and are completely dependent on Govt. Hospitals.. You are making them feel inferior.. Having no other way, they are coming to govt hospitals with the hope that they will get cured.. By spreading only the negative things about govt hospitals, you are destroying their hope.. But the spreaders can very well afford to private hospitals.. And you discourage the doctors who really want to serve the people well..👎
  • Once we had a mega camp at a school.. All the doctors in our Block were together seeing patients.. A female doctor was seeing pregnant mothers.. It is our prime duty to explain mothers about the benefits they could get from the government.. So she explained about MRMBS scheme and the monetary benefits she could get if she delivered in a govt hospital… Avlo dan.. Within a few minutes she came back with her husband having a fierce look.. He shouted at the doctor saying, “do you think we came to you as we have no money.. Mind your words..”, and so on.. He nearly hurt her and the soft natured doctor almost cried.. Probably a newly married couple and the husband wants to prove his wife that he is rich.. But listen, this is not the place to showcase your wealth and arrogance.. In my mind I cursed him to the core..

I’ve mentioned only a few of the many things that I’ve experienced..

India is no more a good place for doctors.. That’s all I can say..

My language my pride

“Mummy please speak in nalla tamil.. My son started speaking and you should teach him good tamil words.”

My inner mind yelled at me, “hey you, stop right there.. What’s wrong with your language??”

Yeah, right.. What’s wrong with my language? Pure tamil is possible only in written form and in movies like Bahubali.. And of course while delivering speech on stage.. Imagine how life will be if we speak like Raja matha and Kattappa at home..

No language provides the comfort and happiness that our local language provides.. It is a part of our home.. I think it is our responsibility to transfer the aroma and essence of our local language to the next generation..

What we believe as nalla thamizh is not actually pure tamil… It must be some regional tamil, which probably originated from some city and found it’s way of propagation through television and movies..

When I first talked to my husband through phone, I expected him to speak in the so called nalla thamizh.. To my surprise, the guy who was out of town since his 6th std, talked in local Thoothoor thamizh… This was the first thing that attracted me towards him.. Anga vizhunthava dan..

According to me, no language is superior or inferior to the other.. It is all about communication.. If one understands what the other speaks, the duty of language is fulfilled.. English, being the universal language, is inevitable.. But it’s not like we have to avoid our mother tongue and teach only English to our kids. These brainy next generation kids are smart enough to get adapted to multiple languages.. Many of my professors, who studied in Tamil medium schools, speak in fluent and impeccable English..

I should tell about the beauty of my local tamil.. Being in the border between Kerala and Tamilnadu, our language also is a blend of tamil and malayalam.. We use some malayalam words like ulli, vellam, karukku, karukku vellam etc.. Tamilians calls us mallus and malayalis call us tamils.. Some people even call us Srilankans..

My college friends, who visited our home, found our language strange for the first time.. They got adapted subsequently and even started teaching some of the words to others.. In this way, I’ve done my job of propagating my language🙏

Once my mom told my friend, “Fire.. Ni ipo konjam vannam‘a iruka”.. She then asked me secretly, “ennadi, amma enna sonnanga.. Nan romba colour aayitena??”

“Ha ha.. No di loosu.. Here vannam means gundu.. Not colour..” 😂😂

I like some of the local words used by my friends at home.. Fire’s mom, who’s from Nellai, uses the word ele in-between.. Chandy calls her dad “naina naina”..That word is full of love.. And my muslim friend from Kayalpatinam uses words like varuviyala, poviyala.. I keep looking at her mouth when she talks to her mom.. My Madurai friend uses words like varuvainga, povainga.. I’ve seen many doctors from Madurai Medical college using these words..

See how beautiful these words are.. So I request all my-generation-moms to teach at least the key words of our local language to our kids.. Thank you.. 😃 😃

New year celebration at PHC

Without festivals and celebrations, man would have gone mad centuries ago.. Hence to retain our sanity at workplace, New year is celebrated every year at our Block Primary Health Centre.. Thanks to our BMO for initiating this event and continuing it every year..

I took part for the first time and I feel it’s worth writing something about this day..

Black ladies

I’m lucky as I found a group of lady doctors of my age group who are willing to follow a colour code every time we meet.. We have a WhatsApp group which becomes active on the day before we meet (mostly review meetings), to discuss about our dress code.. Red for the first time, Green saree once, Peacock for Dr.Resha’s daughter’s birthday party, Yellow for my son’s birthday party and VIBGYOR once.. But this time, we wanted to be different and chose to wear Black saree, which is my favourite.. Thanks to our bridge, Dr.Resha for her colour code initiative..

At least a little bit of time should be spent on photography as toooo much of time is spent on draping saree and make up.. So we took as much selfies as possible and made use of everybody who accidentally smiled at us..

Foooood

A celebration is incomplete without food.. We had delicious mutton biriyani, chicken fry, curd rice and other biriyani accessories.. All set to participate in the following fun games..

Welcome dance

What a performance!!! I kept laughing throughout the dance.. Couldn’t roll over the floor and laugh as I had to keep up my decorum and protect my silk saree..

The song was played using the latest technology available : a mic held against a cellphone’s speaker..🎤

The best part is, the dancers (female staffs) made entry 3 times.. At first, everyone entered with a piece of cloth on their hands and started dancing.. Then the senior staff shouted, “hey, thappu thappu.. You stand there and you stand here.. Stop the song..”.. They left the stage and re-entered with the same piece-of-cloth dance.. The senior staff stopped again and they had a small practice on stage.. They re-entered again and danced non-stop.. 🙏🙏 The best performer is the senior staff who is about to retire in 3 months..

Songs

Our dentist, a well-known singer, performs in every occasion.. But this time, he chose to portray his creativity rather than his singing ability.. He beautifully displayed the transition in love songs since 1950s, by choosing the most popular romantic song every five years..It started with ival senthamizh then mozhiyal.. Undoubtedly it ended with “evandi unna pethan pethan.. Avan kaila kedacha sethan sethan”..

Then came a man with a beautiful voice whose mesmerising performance was interrupted every time he took a breath.. It was the crowd, including me, who clapped believing that the song ended every time he stopped for a breath..👏👏

I should write about the group song in which, the lyrics caught our attention.. They stole music from the song enge antha vennila, enge antha vennila?? and incorporated their public health lyrics enge ratha sogaye, enge ratha sogaye?? (where is anaemia, where is anaemia??).. Tears started pouring out from my eyes..😂😂

After a few more events, the fun games started in which I had a part..I’ll write about it in my next post..

UKG Part 2

Back to kindergarten me.. Here I’ve compiled a few more incidents that flash in my mind when I ruminate on my UKG days..

Neil Armstrong

I came to know about this great man, as the man who first landed on the moon, when I enacted like him in the fancy dress competition.. My mom, who had zero idea about this make over, wanted me to perform this role.. Obviously, a make over came out which is not even accidentally remotely related to this image. .

My mom got the help of an uncle (my uncle’s friend), who came to school with a helmet and some accessories.. I’m dressed in a black suit which is the second good dress shopped by my dad from Kuwait.. The helmet, heavier than my head, is placed on my head.. A black bag, with some weightless stuffs inside just to fill it, is hung on my back. Then a tube, which I remember is an intravenous infusion set, is tied connecting the helmet and the bag.. Then he handed over a long stick to me and enacted how to use it.. Mr.Neil Armstrong is all set to land on the moon..

I landed on stage with this bizarre make over just to see the perplexed audience.. I made some different walking moves with the stick hitting the floor.. After several years, I realised that a stick must be used by Neil Armstrong to walk on the moon without gravity.. As I googled now, I couldn’t find any image of him holding a stick.. Despite all these puzzling factors, I bagged second prize.. Still thinking how!! 🙄

Rosy videos

She is the same Rosy whom I mentioned in my earlier post, seven stars.. She was not my friend back then.. All I knew about her was that her dad owned a video coverage shop and she had a swelling on the left side of her forehead, which was congenital according to her.. Her dad’s shop was named Rosy videos.. Everybody at school called her Rosy videos.. This made me believe that her full name is Rosy videos.. This belief remained till my innocence waned off..

Her dad made a video coverage of our UKG school day(I think free of cost).. After the video cassette got ready, it was played in our sisters’ convent, with all the kids watching… For the initial few minutes, title song is played in which Rosy alone is seen.. We were awed looking at her walking and running back and forth through bushes..

Fighter boy

I forgot this boy’s name, but his face is still clear in my mind.. All I remember about this guy is he fights, fights and fights… He starts his performance from the very next second after the teacher leaves the classroom and pretends like a quite boy once the next teacher arrives.. We leave enough space for the fighters to make sure that we don’t get hurt..

Confession

Remember the last time you confessed?

Mine was about two and a half years back, which was a heartful one..Confession is a sacrament which helps Catholics to repent for their sins and to ask God’s forgiveness.. It keeps us sin-free at least for a week that succeeds..

But it is not the case when I was a kid..

MG School

I studied in MG School, which is a Christian school, for ten long years.. This is where I made a lot of good memories and good friends.. This school played a major role in moulding me perfectly..

There’s a church in the school campus, where we pray on every Wednesday.. Everybody holds a song book and sings together.

Holy day

A holy mass is conducted on a Friday, every month. This is in fact a jolly day, as it sacrifices two class hours, which mostly includes history class (a separate post is needed to describe about this class).. Most of the students attend the mass while some remain in the classroom.. Senior students who are assigned to maintain discipline in these classrooms, do their best to entertain these kids..

I remember a proud look pasted on my face when we leave for the mass.. The same look reappears on my face, in the church, when it’s time for the holy communion (sorry dear God!!)..

After the holy mass ends, older kids get the privilege of sacrificing two more classes by taking part in confession.. We sit in the church with utmost silence, preparing a list of our sins.. When it’s my turn to confess, the proud face reappears for the third time.

I have a set of five decent sins which I repeat every time I confess..(Hope everyone has the same set of sins..)

  1. I fight with my mom.
  2. I fight with my little brother.
  3. I lie sometimes.
  4. I don’t pray regularly.
  5. I don’t control my anger.

Rev.Father shower some prayer advice after I finish this..

My friend had a different experience once.. Like everybody, she spent some minutes on recalling her sins.. But she had a black out when she was about to recount her sins.. After a minute of silence, Rev.Father showered some prayer advice and she left.. She shared this little secret with me..

Hoping to have a sincere confession in the near future.. 😃

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